Monday, September 27, 2010

Vodka snooters and confetti

Well, today was Mom's birthday. We weren't really sure what the guys were going to do. She was telling me yesterday that they had been pretty quiet as of late. We figured they were either plotting or giving her the gift of good behavior. Turns out we were semi-right. At least she got 36 hours of good behavior out of them. So she was awakened about 7am by four hairy bastards jumping up and down on the bed, wearing party hats and holding a tray of vodka shooters. At 7 o'clock in the morning. Oh, and they were singing "Happy Birthday". Loudly. Derf was so drunk he fell off the bed. At 7 in the morning. They also had a tray of raw beef and chocolate dipped stink bugs for her dining pleasure. As they proceeded to dump 4 feet of confetti on her bed, she threw up and they got upset. They found solace in the vodka shots and sat down on the end of the bed, swinging their legs and pouting.

Later on, she had to sit them down and have a little chat with them. She explained to them that her eating habits are FAR different from theirs. She thanked them and patted them on the heads. This made them grin from drunken ear to drunken ear!! Then they started bouncing around again and brought out another tray of vodka shots and dragged her upstairs to check her e mail. I guess they started drinking cheap vodka because they managed to scrape together some cash and get her an Amazon.com gift card. They can be sweet when they want to. And when they are semi-sober.
Last thing I heard, she was still vacuuming confetti in the bedroom while Derf sat downstairs with an icepack on his head. I'm pretty sure they are going to "decorate" the house and get a party started while she is at work. Ummm...Happy Birthday Mom!

***UPDATE***
Mom just told me that the guys made her lunch. More vodka snooters (who is surprised by that?!?!) and popcorn. They dragged a HUGE gift wrapped package down the stairs, with Tony attached to it by the duct tape and Derf tied to it with ribbon. I'm not sure how they managed since they were probably drunk, but I guess no legs got broken coming down the stairs. The gift turned out to be an autographed Troy Polamalu jersey!! Holy crap, where did they get the money for *that*?? I don't even have that much money. She cried and they went crazy, hugging her and kissing her and singing. Maurice had to sit down because Derf's party hat poked him in the eye several times. They were hanging on her and smooching and yelling ,"We love you Grandma!!!!!" They were dancing around, with their braids flying and beads clacking together. Yeah, that's a whole 'nother story.

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