Monsters under the bed. That invaluable parenting tool beloved by generations of guardians to keep their minions cowed and subservient, but most importantly, in bed. My parents never chose to use this method on me for some reason; I actually stayed in bed. I never believed in monsters anyway until about a month or so ago. And mind you, I'm soon to be 38 years old.
It all started with a seemingly innocuous phone chat with my boyfriend. He is an over the road truck driver, with plenty of time to kill during the day. I do not recall exactly how the conversation began, but I do remember him chiding me about my hesitation to read Stephen King. Since I began this though, I have successfully read "IT", managing to only scare myself wit-less a dozen or so times. However, prior to this, the bf, in his infinite wisdom, tried to convince me that one of the best things about reading Stephen King was the monsters under the bed. I failed to see how that was a good thing, but it did give birth to a legend. Or rather, four little legends.
What began as four 7' tall monsters with yellow eyes, bloody fangs, and foot long claws eventually turned into something else entirely. I am now the proud "parent" of four 2' tall hairy, rambunctious, energetic, pesky, fun loving, mischievous monsters. Yep, that's correct. I said monsters. Before they became my cute and cuddly little wards though, they would terrorize me on a daily basis...truly living up to their moniker of "monsters under the bed." I'm not sure why or how they devolved, but I'm glad! I guess once they realized they weren't going to beat me, they decided to join me.
What follows here is an epic (?) account of their day to day (mis) adventures. I'm going to try to put it in some semblance of order. I'm mostly doing it for grins and giggles. It just seemed like too good of an idea to pass up, so I hope you enjoy it. Please bear with me while I tinker around. Thanks for reading and stopping by! Love, the monsters (Derf, Larry, Tony, and Maurice)
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