Work release part 1

Well, I've never been accused of having good ideas, and taking the guys to work with me, definitely ranks as one of my less than brilliant ones. I chatted with them for about 2 hours ahead of time and told them that even though I hate my job, they still had to behave. I made sure to pack plenty of crayons, coloring books, activity pads, snacks, and drawing paper. I could have taken the entire dollar store inventory with me and they still would have been bored in less than four hours.

"Dear UP: Hooray! We're going to work with the bitch tonight! Oh boy, a change of scenery and new people! Maybe she'll even take us to IHOP in the morning!" Love, the monsters

"Dear Monsters: You little bad asses better mind your Ps and Qs! Tell her to take you to Perkins instead." Love, UP

I know how tuckered out I get after my usual 12 hour shift, I was hoping the same would apply to them. Hahaha! WTF was I thinking? Seriously. WTF was I thinking?! I should have known that monsters and tractor trailers wouldn't mix. I think it's pretty safe to say that they enjoyed several unauthorized spins around the parking lot while clinging to the back of the trailer. That of course, was after I had to scrape Derf off the grille of the truck and calm the driver. Derf of course, was okay.

Other than their usual antics and the aforementioned diversions, the night pretty much passed without incident. However, nothing good lasts forever. We still had the hour long drive home. If I had any idea what to do with four sets of stubby monster legs...
After rounding them up and getting them out of the automatic sprinklers, which earned them a seat on statically charged garbage bags, I not only had to endure the usual, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" But a Larry led chant of "IHOP, IHOP, IHOP, IHOP!" I still twitch a little bit when I see their commercials. Oh, and did I mention having four sets of stubby monster legs kicking the back of my seat the ENTIRE way home? Fortunately the misconceived notion that they were going out for breakfast seemed to sap some of their energy and I managed to corral them back under the bed. Needless to say, IHOP was not a part of their day.